I am procrastinating. I am sitting in bed with more than a slight headache. I just watched the season finale of Heroes (I want to have Sylar's babies!) and my cat is trying to eat my hand. I'd have to say that minus my headache, today has been a pretty good day.
Until, I went to Facebook. I now know the reason why I avoid facebook other than a status update, or a "like" every now and then. Everybody on there seems to be having a more interesting life than mine. They look happier, better, more satisfied than I do. I know I am being silly, that these people are no happier than I am, but for a second, I believe it.
Now this post is not meant to be depressing, indeed I am not depressed or even close to it. In fact, I think my avoidance of Facebook for said reasons are helpful to my person. Whenever I see pictures/people, I want to reinvent myself. Not to be more like them, but to be more like me. In other words, I want my ideal self to match my actual self.
I do this in a variety of ways. I change my hair, I dress differently, I try new things, I concentrate on school, I concentrate on family/friends/life. What I have learned is that I cannot be all that I want to be, all the time. It would result in cognitive dissonance overload. I can, however, be parts of myself at any given time.
Therefore, I'm cutting my hair again, and I am going to write a short story/novella (whichever one I can finish and be proud of). I miss my playful, creative, adventurous side. Maybe these things will help me get a part of that "me" back.
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