Amalgamation (or It's Been a While and I've Been Meaning to Blog About This.)

Totally random things I felt important enough to bookmark and comment on later. Well later is finally now.

1) Ten Craziest Job Perks
As someone in the market for permanent employment, I read the article above with hope that maybe my new job would offer one or two of these things. But when Google hands out free, chef-prepared lunches (they spend an estimated $72 million dollars a year on food for their employees!), Microsoft campus has it's own mall and IT firms start providing free-of-charge housekeeping, any company would be hard pressed to compete. And here I was super-excited last week when the office I was working at had chocolate covered cherries. While it wasn't free lunch, those cherries were quite tasty.

2) The Dehydration Myth
This article is linked for all those times someone told you, you don't drink nearly enough water. You need at least eight cups a day! They're right. But more importantly, they're WRONG. And for someone like myself who would choose apple or cranberry juice over water any day, it is gonna be AWESOME the next time someone tries to tell me my daily water quotient is a little low and I show them this article.

3) The World's Most Underrated Cities
Ever since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me after his semester abroad, Italy and I have had a love-hate relationship. I love it because it's beautiful and romantic and dreamy. I hate it because I can't think about it without immediately remembering that he thought so too. Ugh. And while that relationship ended years ago, I still feel like Italy's tainted. Well no more. As soon as I can get my fanny over there, I'm going to gorge myself on spaghetti Bolognese with fresh grated Parmesan and every kind of gelato I can manage. Bologna, Italy: I'm coming for you! (There are 25 great cities on this list, so be sure to flip through all the slides!)

4) BBC Dimensions
Have you ever wondered just how large the Gulf oil spill was? Or how many people were in Athens during the Peloponnisan War? Or better yet, just how big the pyramids of Giza really are? No? Well I have, because I am a NERD. If you have entertained these thoughts, then look no further than BBC Dimensions for the answer. This website allows you to input your area code and see how much space the Great Wall of China takes up in a familiar landscape. Not gonna lie, I spent like an hour on this website one day. WHEN I DID NOT HAVE THE TIME. Ah, well. Such is the way of the internet.

5) ABSURDITY
I can't even begin to tell you how crazy this was or the fact that, according to the letter sent in reply, this sort of thing happens all the time. Ridiculous. Interest piqued? Just go ahead and click. You know you want to. Hint: Copyright law totally applies here!

6) ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS and Animals Being Dicks and When Parents Text
You know when you come across a gem on the interweb and it's so good you want to share it immediately while at the same time keep it for your own laugh-out-loud pleasure? These three websites are GEMS. I laughed OUT LOUD (LOL for realz) for like TWO FULL HOURS on the parent's texting website. Dude, even my mother thought it was hilarious. You must go there and see for yourself. You must. They're so funny, they even have a book out.

:) Hope you enjoyed!

So (Again) It's Been Awhile... (Funny Jokes)

In addition to my desire/kick to become more productive, I'm hoping to change the regularity with which I update my blog, starting right now. This one will be a short; I'm just reposting some Comedy Central Joke of the Day's, I found rather funny. But I will tell you what you can expect from me in the next couple of days:

--- Goals/Plans for this year, including FUN trips (Trying really hard to make the FUN Trips part come true, lol) --- San Diego ComicCon, anyone?

--- Cool Things I've Seen Online (I have a ridiculous amount of free time right now): Deco Umbrella, Ridiculously Expensive but Beautiful Hotels

--- People: Did you know who California's Attorney General is? This SUPER COOL lady named...

--- Reviews of Recent Books I've Red and/or Movies I've Seen: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, Death at a Funeral, The Hunter, The Chase, the Kill (A Trilogy), etc.

--- Stuff I've wanted to blog about for a while and just haven't yet: Love, Religion, Race, Life and Apple Pie

And of Course,

--- Guys. As there isn't anyone special in my life at the moment, I usually just stick to celebrities and such. This year's newbie: Bradley James. 100 points to the person who knows/finds out who this is. Interesting to note: He's my second blond celebrity crush :)

That's all for tonight folks! Enjoy the jokes!

* J/K: Last note: I'm also trying to make this blog a little more interactive. So COMMENT. Even if it's something little, or critical. I want your opinions since you take the time to read mine.

LOVE IT! Okay, now on to the jokes!

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Chris Rock: Natural Causes

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes. Cuz’ if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.

Royale Watkins: My Wife's Age

My wife had this whole gay military policy with her age: if I didn't ask, she wouldn't tell. And when I did ask, she would get offended. I'd be like, 'Let me ask you something -- how old are you?' 'Excuse me? Listen, let me tell you something -- I'm a woman, and a real man would not ask a woman her age. It's not about how old I am. It's about how young I make you feel. Now go in there and brush your teeth and put on your pajamas, get ready for bed.'

Godfrey: Regular Black

My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?

Greer Barnes: Chasing a White Guy

I was in the park last night, chasing this white guy. He got away from me. I didn't know cops could walk that fast with all that stuff on.

Alex Thomas: Ask a Stupid Question

My mother always told me, 'Boy, if somebody asks you a stupid question, you give them a stupid answer.' The cops walked up to my car, 'Would you like to step out of the car?' I said, 'Hell no, it's hot! I got the air conditioner on. How about you hop your ass in here with me?'

Arj Barker: Walking Shoes

Can you imagine if you had a pair of shoes that you could only walk in? That could be kind of limiting under certain circumstances. 'Everybody get outta here! There's a swarm of bees coming!' What? Oh great, I got my walking shoes on today. I guess I better stroll the hell out of here at a moderate pace.

Wayne Federman: Discriminating Carpool Lane

The carpool lane discriminates against the lonely. These peoples -- through no fault of their own -- don't have the social skills to make friends. OK, that's unfortunate, but what do we do as a society? We push them off to the right in this vehicular apartheid, while they sit isolated in their loser mobiles, forced to watch the popular people whiz by them.

Jessi Klein: You Look A Lot Like...

This co-worker of mine, who I don't know well at all, comes up to me and goes, 'Hey Jessi, I don't know if anyone's ever told you this before, but you look a lot like Anne Frank.' I didn't really know where to put that as a remark. But the worst thing is that my first thought was, 'Was Anne Frank hot?'

Brian Regan: Microwaving Pop Tarts

You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.

Jordan Rubin: Walk the Line

I got pulled over for drunk driving the other day. The cops had me walk that line. I said the one thing you shouldn't say. I was like, 'Stop wiggling it.' 'Cause that gives you away.

Legend of the Seeker - Saturday's at 4PM!

So in keeping with the recent trend of books-to-television series obsessions (True Blood, Vampire Diaries, anyone) I have recently (starting with the beginning of the second, current season) become infatuated with Legend of the Seeker. If you're in the Chicagoland area it comes on channel 9 at 4PM on Saturdays (hence the title). It's based on The Sword of Truth novels by Terry Goodkind, (which I have no desire to read-- again much like True Blood and V-Diaries) but changes it up a bit so I've heard.

The first season follows the epic journey of a young woods guide named Richard Cypher, a mysterious woman named Kahlan Amnell and a wizard named Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander to stop Darken Rahl from unleashing an ancient and terrifying power.

The second season follows the three of them (and some others) as they try to stop the Keeper (Lord of the Underworld) from destroying the land of the living.

Here are the character bios, courtesy of Wikipedia with a few changes:

• Richard Cypher – Richard starts out in the series as a young woods guide living in Hartland, a town in Westland and a place where no magic exists. Richard is the adopted son of George Cypher and brother of Michael Cypher, but he does not know who his real parents are or that Zedd is his grandfather. He discovers that he is the first true Seeker in a thousand years - "a hero who arises in the times of trouble and suffering and seeks out evil".Although Richard is reluctant to be the Seeker, he is earnest in fulfilling his role as he is the person prophesied to defeat Darken Rahl. Along the way he becomes closer to Kahlan and falls in love with her. Craig Horner explains Richard's character as someone who is "what you see is what you get" and is "so truthful", adding that "the only thing he's been taught to reserve his whole life is his anger, and he can release that once he starts to get hold of this Sword of Truth."

• Kahlan Amnell –the Mother Confessor and, in contrast to the novels which the show is based on, she is not the last living Confessor, at least until partway into the second season. As a Confessor, she has the power to magnify the love a person has within them for her, allowing her to control the person. This power allows her to serve the people of the Midlands, who respect and fear her. Her mother is deceased and she meets her father later in the series after many years of being estranged. Her sister appeared to have been killed at the beginning of the first episode in the series, but later we learn she has indeed survived, and will give birth to a male confessor. In Kahlan's quest to defeat Rahl, her role is to protect the Seeker with her life. She develops a deep love for Richard, which is torment for them both since her Confessor's powers would be inadvertently unleashed in a moment of intimacy, making it impossible for Richard and Kahlan to act on their feelings for each other. Executive producer Robert Tapert describes Kahlan as "a female action hero for 2009… she's perhaps more feminine at the same time as being as ruthless as Xena was."

UNFORTUNATELY, the Tribune Company has decided not to renew the series as of March 4, 2010. The show's owner, ABC, has announced that while Tribune has decided to drop Seeker, this is not the deciding factor on whether it is cancelled completely. If enough other stations are willing to carry the show, it is possible that a third season will be produced.

I totally want there to be a third season. This show is complete with love and romance, laughter and sorrow, surety and silliness. Check it out-- both seasons are on YouTube.

P.S. The male protagonist is pretty hott too, he's an Aussie with pretty hair :)

So Freakin' Excited: Sequels to the Best Books I've Read in a LONG TIME!

I love to read. Seriously, I mean I could read probably 15 hours a day, 5 days a week and be happy.

I read nonfiction all the time, but fiction is better :> (It lets you step out of the world for just a moment.) My favorite type of fiction? Historical fiction comes second only to Sci-Fi/Fantasy. All those hours with Piers Anthony, Robert Jordan, C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle... middle school was heaven.

I thought that maybe some of my passion would rub off on you guys! So here are two of my favorite books and even some info about their upcoming sequels!

JUST ONE NOTE AND I'LL GET ONTO IT: EVEN IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SCI-FI, YOU'LL LOVE THESE!

The Hunger Games (2008) is a young adult science fiction novel written by Suzanne Collins. It is the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy. It introduces sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives in a post-apocalyptic world where a powerful government called the Capitol has risen up after several devastating disasters. In the book, the Hunger Games are an annual televised event where the ruthless and evil Capitol randomly selects one boy and one girl from each of the twelve districts, who are then pitted against each other in a game of survival and forced to kill until only one remains.

The second book in the series is Catching Fire and the third book, Mockingjay, is slated for release on August 24, 2010.

THAT IS A DAY AFTER MY 22 BIRTHDAY!!! Will someone buy it for me? I'll love them forever and ever :>

The second novel is The Host by famous author Stephenie Meyer. Now I know you have your doubts, but this book is GOOD. I mean, seriously. Talk about character driven novel with lots of plot. And this book was written for ADULTS, not boy crazy teenage girls. So READ IT.

The Host is a science fiction/romance novel by Stephenie Meyer. The novel introduces an alien race, called Souls, who take over Earth and its inhabitants. The book describes one soul's predicament when the mind of its human host refuses to cooperate with her takeover... Melanie "Mel" Stryder is one of few "wild' humans. After "insertion" into a human body, they erase the human occupant and establish a claim over the body and mind. Wanderer is a soul who has lived on eight different planets previously, with Mel being her ninth host body. Upon waking inside her new body, Wanderer is shocked by the power and vividness of human emotions, memories, and senses, and quickly learns that Melanie is not willing to give up the entirety of her mind.

So far, there's no sequel to the host on the horizon, but Steph says she's gonna write them: "She said in an interview that, if published, the first sequel would be entitled The Soul and the second The Seeker. In November 2009, she said, "I'd like to eventually have The Host be part of a trilogy. That's one of the projects I'd really like to get to in the next year or so."

GOOD NEWS: In September 2009, producers Nick Wechsler, Steve Schwartz, and Paula Mae Schwartz used independent financing to acquire the rights to adapt The Host into a film. YAY!

BAD NEWS: Unfortunately, we might have to wait until after Breaking Dawn is filmed. Sad :<>
*KUDOS to KIRA, who made me read these two books in the first place. I will say that I trust her to recommend the right books... at least for me!*