Showing posts with label self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self. Show all posts

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Job Hunting in Chicago or “Maybe I’m Getting Somewhere”

This morning, I got up earlier than I had in a long time in order to be on a 7:24 AM train to downtown Chicago. Why? To register with a temp agency that finally seemed excited to have someone on board with my skill set. YAY!

I knew going in that they wouldn’t immediately recommend me for a job (but I could hope!), yet I went there excited to finally be doing something—because sitting at home, staring at my computer and applying for jobs online sometimes makes me want to kick and scream in frustration.

So when I responded to a call from Kelley Services, I did think, that maybe, just maybe, this job search would finally produce fruit. In other words, I hoped that perhaps the temp-to-hire option would lead to something both equally permanent and interesting.

When I got there, Susan, my representative showed me the ropes. I took some tests (which basically told me that I was kick-ass at Word and PowerPoint and less so at Excel and typing), signed some forms and voilĂ !—technically I am an employed person. (I will not feel that way, however, until I am the recipient of steady paychecks.) But the experience was positive, beneficial and hope-giving (why yes, I did just make up an adjective). At the end of the day, I am just really excited to feel like I’m: A) valuable as an employee and B) making progress on my job search.

And while I will still be searching LinkedIn® and Monster® every day for job opportunities, I’m hoping that I can one day refer someone to Kelley Services and say, “Oh, yeah, you should go there! That’s where I got that wonderful job at [insert name of awesome company here]."

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Kenny

I saw him once. Well, to say it was once
would neither be accurate nor true.

I saw him many times, across from me
but only for that season. I wondered
about him; who he was and where he was
from. I made up stories in my head to
pass the time, lonely time, when I was sad.

I wonder: did I sit there on purpose?
Did I know "he" was what I needed then?
When I was sad and he was there and I
could dream? Create a fiction in my mind?
Perfection imagined and therefore safe.

He helped me. I know, because I made it.
I passed. And I did not cry. Not even once.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Reverie

Sometimes
when I close my eyes and I drift off
to that faraway place I dream of
white silk and blue satin,

of horses,
of champagne flutes teetering on haystacks,
and photographs in sun-streaked autumn.

Of slobbery dog kisses and
the need for front-wheel drive and riding lawnmowers.

And fresh, wet earth and cool, clean air,
And more than enough space to think.

Sometimes,
when I close my eyes and I drift off
to that faraway place I dream of
baby‘s breath and honeysuckle,

of sunlight and rain,
fall and spring,
and grinning until my cheeks hurt.

Mostly though, it seems
I dream of dreams.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

What Part of My Body Do I Love the Most?

So this is a tough one.

Not because I can't think of a part of my body I like--- I pretty much think my body's hott stuff!--- but because I honestly don't think about my body all that much. I mean sometimes I wish my stomach was flatter, or when I'm in a good dress, I smile at myself in the mirror, but that's about it. I don't know if that's because I have good self-esteem or better things to worry about. Probably both, lol.

But to answer LRob's question (from last post's comments), I will say that, in terms of what part of my body I like the most, there is a clear frontrunner:

the small of my back.

My lower back has this ridiculous arch?/curve?/convex section right above my derriere and I love it! (When I try on dresses, it is somewhat annoying because seldom do they fit correctly in that area, but then, cute jackets are my back's best friend, so it evens out, lol. )

I'm not quite sure why I like it so much, but I will say that it's the one part of my body I never complain about, have never been embarrassed over, or ever been made to feel ashamed about. And for a woman to feel that she has even one part of her body that is simply right, JUST THE WAY IT IS, is pretty freaking remarkable.

Do any of you have a favorite part of your body? Is it the small of your back too? :)
If you're up for it, share your answer in the comment section; I'd love to hear what you guys think! And if you have more questions for me, ask away!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Two Things... Well Three Things Really

Numero Uno:
I have some fun ideas for the next couple of blog posts, one of them being the actual completion of at least one show synopsis in my FtLoTV (For the Love of TV) series. YAY!! Another one is a poem I've been working on when I can't sleep at night (like now). And last but not least, it is definitely time for another hotnessincelebrityform entry. I'm going to do a few of those since there's a LOT of hott guys on TV in the summer :)

So watch out for those entries!

Numero Dos:
Another entry is going to be a little more personal---- think love life, people! But to do this, I need to have a more accurate list of who I've dated/crushed on in the many years I've been alive. SO, I need your HELP. Call/text/email/facebook/carve it in stone/write in the comment section (only if you feel I won't be TOO embarrassed) the NAMES of the random people I've crushed on SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Yeah, that's right. I'm going ALL THE WAY BACK.

I've crushed on a lot of people so I need you guys to rack your brain and sus out some names, especially some obscure ones you think I may have forgotten :)

Numero Tres:
I've decided to do a little honest Q & A. So here's your chance to ask me anything. And as long as it's within sight distance of reasonable, I'll answer it in a blog post. This is for all those people who've been wondering about the intricacies of my life (i.e. thedeepstuff) but haven't had the nerve to ask me any questions. You know, because my life is SO interesting. Right. LOL. But seriously, ask away (in the comment section)!

So there you have it. Expect some updates soon. Now do your homework and leave me some comments people!

Love :)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

For the Love of TV: Introduction

So two things you should know about me if you don't already:

1) I LOVE TELEVISION.

Like seriously. Notice I did not write, "I like to watch TV." or "I love watching my favorite television shows." It goes deeper than that. I like the art of television. Dialogue, character placement, setting, plot, the turn of a phrase, comedic timing. There's bad television, good television and GREAT television. (And then there's the stuff that's so bad, it's good. And no, I'm not talking about reality TV. Reality TV is always bad. Or rather, I've never watched a reality TV show that didn't want to make me turn it off at some point because of it's sheer stupidity.)

2) I love, love love love, love when fiction makes me want to believe its real. In other words, the best books, the best films, the best TELEVISION will leave me wanting to live, work, eat and sleep in whatever world the writer has provided.

Now, of course this happens in varying degrees--not all works of art are created equal-- but for the most part, I can see the appeal in almost any television show. And sometimes, I can even tell if that appeal will make the show a hit or a miss.

So, for those of you who read my weekly? ramblings, I'm going to pretend that I have my dream job (at least at the moment) for the next few weeks and talk about one of my passions: GREAT TELEVISION.

Now to talk about great television, one must also talk about bad television, so you'll great a glimpse at both ends of the spectrum, and hopefully, some stuff in between. So, if you love TV like I do, or even, as one friend of mine put it, "tolerate it despite the drivel that it is," hopefully you'll find these posts interesting.

NOTE: I'm totally up for ideas as well! Any television show you want me to review? Any character you want me to analyze? Or wonder if I'd date? (LOL) Let me know IN THE COMMENT SECTION. (Love you Dwayne!)

Ta Ta for now!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

"Write 400 words (or less) on your ideal place [to live]."

So, a friend of mine prompted the readers of her blog to write about their ideal place to live after the subject came up in her life--twice in one week. So here goes. It's probably very different than what she intended, but one must go where the words takes them.

_____

There are no sad and quiet people here.

The air is clear and clean, the water calm and warm. The temperature always matches the light of the sun. Trees find themselves green without trying. Flowers bloom without challenge; bees don't sting.

Seasons are so crisp here. The changing of the colors is a vibrant affair. The snow melts on the tongues of children and falls in flakes the size of closed eyelids. Summer comes often. Heat and breeze are in consummate harmony. Spring brings back birds of every color that algor took away.

It's soft. Light is temperate. All noise, dulcet. Movement, unpretentious and rhythmical. No sense is ever harmed, no practice overwhelms. But the people are loud and happy, full of life and purpose.

Night is conclusive to day. Darkness holds no sinister plans; no egregious dealings go on in dusk. Darkness is not the absence of light, but the rest of it. The balance of dark and light for rests’ sake.

No true measure of time exists here, only the sensation of moments both here and then, now and always. This does not bother the loud and happy people. They rejoice. For they knew it once when it was different, when it was worse and they were sad and quiet.

And there are no sad and quiet people here.

_____

1000 points if you let me know what you think.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

So I was serious about that updating thing/Merlin - Colin Morgan

I haven't forgotten about ya'll! (Ya'll being like the three people who read this blog or maybe just the two who actually care about what I have to say, lol.) I told you I was really trying to do something different this year and actually, you know, blog.

First things first. TWO MILLION POINTS to Aryelle who actually cared/knew me well enough to try to figure out that ridiculously AWESOME poem I made up (on the fly, might I add) in the last post's comment section. She almost got it right too.

So without further ado, I introduce the topic of COLIN MORGAN aka my new favorite celebrity crush and one of the reasons ComicCon is going to be like, the highlight of my life this year.


But first I must admit to you guys just HOW MUCH of a nerd I really am by explaining to you just HOW MUCH I freaking l-o-v-e anything about Athurian Legends/the Middle Ages. So much so that people used to ask me what that random poster I had up in my room was all about. You know the one with the guy in full armor (I'm talking CHAIN MAIL, baby) on horseback holding a jousting stick, a sword and a mace while trying to simultaneously help a lady onto the back of his horse? Yeah, THAT one.

Seriously, if it weren't for the TRUTH of that period (you know that being a black person sucked at that time and I would have never had the chance to be a lady of nobility, let alone QUEEN), I probably would have already tried to build a freaking boat/time machine to hightail it back to Albion and claim my rightful role as Guinevere. For reals.

But alas, I am not the least bit scientifically inclined and I do read enough non-fiction about the time period to realize that I live in LALALALA land.

And so I watch Merlin. A British television show (it airs on BBC One, snitches!) about the once and future king and his trusty sidekick/wizard Merlin.


I get chills just thinking about it. (Yeah, I know I'm lame. Deal with it.) Unfortunately, it airs in Britain like a whole season earlier than it does here. And you know I can NOT wait that long. So I watch it online. ILLEGALLY. Muhahaha! But then I get all sad that I have to wait a whole YEAR for that ish to come out again. So I end up watching it AGAIN. I do wait a couple of months in between though. (Translation: I wait as long as I can before the tremors and seizures get to be too much.)

(I must at this point give a shout out to/blame my dependency on my friend Katharine who got me hooked on it when she stayed with me for a couple of days after spending a year in Spain. That first night I think we watched like 4 episodes. Ridiculousness. OMG. And her Facebook profile pic is with the TARDIS for cornflakes sake! Thisiswhywe'renerds. )

Anyway, this brings me to the currentloveofmylife, Colin Morgan, on whose shoulders this entire series rests upon since he plays the title character. Bradley James is the blond haired guy in the photo next to him who plays Prince Arthur. (And as much as I like guys who are talldarkhairedandskinny, Bradley James is quite attractive too.)


But, back to CM. Did you know this dude is IRISH? Not like, his family is from Ireland but they live in the UK Irish, but like IRISH from IRELAND, like his family still lives there and they have neighbors and go to the grocery store and go ice-skating in IRELAND Irish. He learned a Welsh accent for this role. (His real accent is way sexier.)

And unless you don't know me at all, you know that I could (if it were possible) literally have Ireland's babies. The first time I ever tried out for a high school play was for "Playboy of the Western World" (no, it's not a dirty play) and I got to put my GANGSTER Irish accent to use. ONLY black girl in the whole play, but I was SICK as Sara Tansey, leader of the meddling group of girls. Me and Ireland's babies would be be-yoo-tiful and you know it.

So I'll leave you with a clip from the show (Season 1) and you guys can tell me that you love it or remind me how much of a nerd I am.
kthanxbai



Don't worry, Arthur doesn't stay that obnoxious :)
________________________

Oh and aren't I a big DUNCE for failing to mention TWO OTHER REASONS why I love this show?

1) Anthony Head (aka Giles from Buffy) is King Uther, Prince Arthur's father (duh)

2) GUINEVERE is BLACK (or Hispanic or both), snitches! It's like watching all my dreams come true. LOVE IT!


I can not freaking WAIT until ComicCon! Maybe they'll bring some of the knights as well... they're kinda HOTT too.

(You know you wanna Google image search "BBC Merlin Lancelot." Just do it. LOL.)

Actually don't. Because unfortunately this is NOT the first picture you see.



Ok, that really was it. This post is now done.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Graduation!

More to come, but here's a short video for those who couldn't come, and for those who just want to relive it for a sec :)

Congratulations, Graduates! from Northwestern News!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

So Freakin' Excited: Sequels to the Best Books I've Read in a LONG TIME!

I love to read. Seriously, I mean I could read probably 15 hours a day, 5 days a week and be happy.

I read nonfiction all the time, but fiction is better :> (It lets you step out of the world for just a moment.) My favorite type of fiction? Historical fiction comes second only to Sci-Fi/Fantasy. All those hours with Piers Anthony, Robert Jordan, C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle... middle school was heaven.

I thought that maybe some of my passion would rub off on you guys! So here are two of my favorite books and even some info about their upcoming sequels!

JUST ONE NOTE AND I'LL GET ONTO IT: EVEN IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SCI-FI, YOU'LL LOVE THESE!

The Hunger Games (2008) is a young adult science fiction novel written by Suzanne Collins. It is the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy. It introduces sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives in a post-apocalyptic world where a powerful government called the Capitol has risen up after several devastating disasters. In the book, the Hunger Games are an annual televised event where the ruthless and evil Capitol randomly selects one boy and one girl from each of the twelve districts, who are then pitted against each other in a game of survival and forced to kill until only one remains.

The second book in the series is Catching Fire and the third book, Mockingjay, is slated for release on August 24, 2010.

THAT IS A DAY AFTER MY 22 BIRTHDAY!!! Will someone buy it for me? I'll love them forever and ever :>

The second novel is The Host by famous author Stephenie Meyer. Now I know you have your doubts, but this book is GOOD. I mean, seriously. Talk about character driven novel with lots of plot. And this book was written for ADULTS, not boy crazy teenage girls. So READ IT.

The Host is a science fiction/romance novel by Stephenie Meyer. The novel introduces an alien race, called Souls, who take over Earth and its inhabitants. The book describes one soul's predicament when the mind of its human host refuses to cooperate with her takeover... Melanie "Mel" Stryder is one of few "wild' humans. After "insertion" into a human body, they erase the human occupant and establish a claim over the body and mind. Wanderer is a soul who has lived on eight different planets previously, with Mel being her ninth host body. Upon waking inside her new body, Wanderer is shocked by the power and vividness of human emotions, memories, and senses, and quickly learns that Melanie is not willing to give up the entirety of her mind.

So far, there's no sequel to the host on the horizon, but Steph says she's gonna write them: "She said in an interview that, if published, the first sequel would be entitled The Soul and the second The Seeker. In November 2009, she said, "I'd like to eventually have The Host be part of a trilogy. That's one of the projects I'd really like to get to in the next year or so."

GOOD NEWS: In September 2009, producers Nick Wechsler, Steve Schwartz, and Paula Mae Schwartz used independent financing to acquire the rights to adapt The Host into a film. YAY!

BAD NEWS: Unfortunately, we might have to wait until after Breaking Dawn is filmed. Sad :<>
*KUDOS to KIRA, who made me read these two books in the first place. I will say that I trust her to recommend the right books... at least for me!*

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Conflicting Views of Self-Perception: Makes me Sound Crazy, Doesn't It?

Facebook stalking people tonight has led me to reflect on how I view myself. Who am I , really? I know the important and "given" things, like God loves me, I'm black, also a 21 year-old college student (SENIOR!).

Those facts though, with the exception of the first one, are pretty boring. Unfortunately, I can't think of who I am besides those banal things I listed above. Those things make up my actual self. Boo Hoo :(

My ideal self, however, is awesome. She's trendy, a fashion-forward diva who's down to earth (oxymoronic, I know, but somehow my ideal self makes it work). Her hair, make-up, nails--flawless. She's got a sweet job, an "oldie, but goodie" car that runs, a steady boyfriend and about 100 pairs of super cool shoes. She's a great cook, a certified whiz in the kitchen, and her favorite drink is apple juice. [Other kind? Cosmopolitan :)] She's beautiful, sexy and sophisticated, sassy and shy. She's an un-intimidated, speak-her-mind, kinda gal. To sum it up in one word, she's awesome.

Now can she exist? Can ideal self become actual self? I'm in no way harping on myself to become someone I'm not or don't want to be. I'm pretty happy with myself and I don't think that being my ideal self will take away all my problems.But I can't help but wonder what it would be like to be her, just for one day. Would life be better? I don't think so. But it would be more interesting, which is all I am hoping for in my boring life.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Yes, I Know I Haven't Written in 4 Months

I am procrastinating. I am sitting in bed with more than a slight headache. I just watched the season finale of Heroes (I want to have Sylar's babies!) and my cat is trying to eat my hand. I'd have to say that minus my headache, today has been a pretty good day.

Until, I went to Facebook. I now know the reason why I avoid facebook other than a status update, or a "like" every now and then. Everybody on there seems to be having a more interesting life than mine. They look happier, better, more satisfied than I do. I know I am being silly, that these people are no happier than I am, but for a second, I believe it.

Now this post is not meant to be depressing, indeed I am not depressed or even close to it. In fact, I think my avoidance of Facebook for said reasons are helpful to my person. Whenever I see pictures/people, I want to reinvent myself. Not to be more like them, but to be more like me. In other words, I want my ideal self to match my actual self.

I do this in a variety of ways. I change my hair, I dress differently, I try new things, I concentrate on school, I concentrate on family/friends/life. What I have learned is that I cannot be all that I want to be, all the time. It would result in cognitive dissonance overload. I can, however, be parts of myself at any given time.

Therefore, I'm cutting my hair again, and I am going to write a short story/novella (whichever one I can finish and be proud of). I miss my playful, creative, adventurous side. Maybe these things will help me get a part of that "me" back.